The God Standard

So it seems you’ve found the one good guy in this whole generation. He’s caring, looks good, takes you on great dates, and most of all: he really likes you. Not to mention he believes in God and—bonus points— even attends church sometimes. Girl, you must have struck gold.

Some time goes by and everything’s still going well. Sure, some flaws have surfaced, but overall the boy is surprisingly consistent. I mean, no one is perfect… but this one? He’s pretty good. Maybe even great.

Except something’s missing. And you know it is.

It’s the God factor.

This guy is successfully taking the lead in almost all aspects of your relationship, except spiritually. You two talk about God sometimes, but if you’re honest, you wish he was way more interested in God. If you’re unsure of his commitment to the Father, try running through this simple checklist:

• How many times have you two been on a date? Now, have you prayed or read the Word together nearly as many times? Is he usually the one to initiate it?

• Does he insists that you two in walk in full obedience to God and resist sexual temptation together? Or is he the one tempting you?

• Does he encourage you to engage in some form of ministry, either at church or on your own? Does it matter to him whether or not you two consistently attend church?

If you have to answer “no” to these, then the God factor is probably missing. The God Standard is not being met.

Studying His Word (Joshua 1:8), honoring God with the body (1 Corinthians 6:19-20), being involved in church (Hebrews 10:25), and engaging in ministry (1 Peter 4:10) are all basic God-given instructions.

Men, specifically, are called to be the head in this while in a relationship, the same way Christ was the head of the church (Ephesians 5:23). That does not mean they are supposed to be controlling and have all the power. Rather, it means God Himself requires men to lead by example. This looks like being doers of the Word, loving their wives selflessly, and serving God in both faith and works. Now unfortunately, there’s many men who think they love God... but fail to, because they’re not really concerned with obeying God’s commands (John 14:15).

If that is the case, what can we do about it? If the guy you’re with is a good guy, but apparently not a God guy—how do we fix it?

The bad news is, you can’t change him. We cannot make anyone into a man of God. That is something only God can do.

The good news? You can change you.

God wants ALL of us to be conformed to the image of His Son (Romans 8:28). His standard does not just apply to men and relationships— it is something all of His children should be striving to meet. Go back to that checklist from above. Are you doing all those things on a regular basis?

If not, the great news is that the more you focus on meeting the God standard yourself, the less likely you are to be content with a man who doesn’t. Aligning your own behavior with God’s standards shifts your perspective on what type of partner you need to truly complement God’s purpose for your life.

So you got the bad news, the good news, the great news… Now, the best news? As you seek to better meet the God standard, you end up falling in love with God Himself.

When you first set out to follow those instructions mentioned above, you may only do it out of obligation. It might really just feel like a chore.

If that’s how it feels for you, just hang in there. Keep doing what God asks us to do. Because somewhere along the line, somewhere within the pages of that Good Book, you start learning just how much God loves you… and it changes your life. It hits you like a ton of bricks, and leaves you yearning to study, obey, and serve God. Comprehending God’s love for you changes the way you live, and consequently, the type of romantic love you’re willing to accept.

A good man will lead you everywhere you want to go except to God. That is because if he himself is not committed to seeking Jesus, he cannot reasonably lead anyone else to Jesus -- not even a woman he really, really likes.

As easy as it can often feel to settle for this, I urge you not to. Instead, let us decide on this day that we ourselves want to serve the one, true living God, regardless of whether a man is present in our lives or not. In the process of drawing nearer to Him, sisters, you’ll see exactly why the best kind of man to spend your life with is one who wants to lead you even closer to Christ as you two seek Him together.