Aren’t You Tired of Waiting?

During all my time of being abstinent, it's been easy to find Christian books and social media pages that discuss the struggles of following God and practicing abstinence while in a relationship. As inspiring and encouraging as those stories have been for me over the years, one thing that I always wished to hear more people talk about is what it’s like trying to do those things while still in your single season, before your God-ordained partner arrives. "The Wait," as famous author Devon Franklin coined it, is a tough period to navigate for many of us, especially as young women. Perhaps you, too, are familiar with what it looks like.

The loneliness. The frustration. The disappointment of catching feelings for yet another person who is not ”the one." Someone who might not be even half as interested in God as you are.

Not to mention the dreaded Talk. I'm sure many of us have gone through it: the uncomfortable sit-down conversation you end up having to have with any guy who's actually gotten close enough for you to start considering your future together. You know, the future that will probably cease to exist post-Talk.

The future that goes down the drain right along with the attention, special treatment, and care you’ve been receiving, the second you open your mouth about how you are not willing to open your legs because you're trying to honor God by waiting til marriage to have sex.

The talk that makes texts start coming in slower, dates become fewer, most men’s interest in you... fade, slowly but surely, day by day.

The talk that somehow makes you secretly hold on tighter than ever before, in hopes that this could still be “the one --" he just needs someone in his life to teach him about abstinence and point him to God first, that's all.

If you’re like me, you’ve probably even thought at some point,

“The Lord works in mysterious ways, right ? Maybe this is just how the story starts for us; everyone’s testimony is different, after all. Sometimes, God brings the right people together at the wrong time, so that when the right time finally comes, they’ll truly be ready. I’ve read about other people’s stories beginning under those or even much worse circumstances.... and now they’ve been happily married for a good amount of time.

Couldn’t that just be our story too ? Couldn't I just be part of what leads him to God?”

Of course that could be true. Perhaps it actually is. Only God Himself knows His exact plans for your love life.

But seeing as none of us are psychic, what we need to ask ourselves, in the meanwhile, is this: would God want us to settle for a partner who cannot lead us in serving Him?

I mean, surely God would want better for us than that, right?

After all these years of waiting for the right person? After all these years of trying to put God first in your life? Of trying to faithfully seek Him? Of already having your heart broken, and crying over men who were not interested in seeking Jesus with you? Of being misunderstood, undervalued, and abandoned? Of feeling rejected?

Would God put us through all of those “no’s,” just to leave us with a “eh, maybe?"

Absolutely not.

The God you and I know, wants us to have have our “YES.” In bold, uppercase, Italics, and 76 point font. In fact, He has been preparing you all of this time for a “YES” so big and so certain, that even the naysayers will not be able to deny His favor towards you. He wants those from your past to have no choice but to look at your life, after He has transformed it, and say, “Wow... I always knew she was different.” Whether they actually treated you with honor and respect or not.

We have to remember that God does plan to fulfill our hearts' desires... and because He is God, He is always going to do things in a way that, above all, brings glory to His name. Scripture asserts that we should flee sexual immorality (1 Thessalonians 4:3), and present our bodies as a living sacrifice unto the Lord (Romans 12:1). A romantic relationship that glorifies God will enable us to honor Him with our bodies, rather than leading us to sin.

Maybe, though, you've found yourself sprung on a certain guy who does not seem interested in glorifying God with his body, and are hoping it's okay, because he's a good guy who treats you very well. Perhaps he's done all those things you weren't used to, but deeply desired: taken you out on dates, shown you off to his friends, driven you around, showered you in attention, fed you without you ever having to reach for your wallet, listened to you, stared at you, entertained you, flattered you, spent time with you for hours on end just because he enjoys being around you.

You’re not used to receiving the things you've wanted for so long, and it is hard to risk losing it all by disclosing to him that you’re choosing or even considering abstinence as you seek God.

It’s hard having to give up the best meal you’ve ever been served, after having starved for so long. I know, sis.

If you are currently or ever have been in this situation, what I need you do is take a deep breath, and consider this: if things could seem this good with a man who was meant to be only temporary... Can you even begin to imagine of how good things will be with the "forever" man God has set aside for you? A man who is not with you because of what you can do for him, but rather, because he knows God has called him to glorify Him with you?

Can you even imagine how that man will treat you? Not just for a season, this time, but for the rest of your days?

You can’t. I promise you, you can’t. Shoot, I know I can’t. Because it will be just that good.

What am I telling you, sisters?

It is hard trying to faithfully seek God and wait for the person He has for your future, especially when it means giving up the person you may want right now for a future Godly partner you can't even see yet. Believe me, I understand. However, we have to know that it will absolutely, positively, without a DOUBT be worth it to do things God's way. Because when it comes to His daughters who desire marriage, God wants to bless us with men who love us and treat us well, and most importantly, men who will lead us in seeking and obeying the Lord above all.